Do You Suck? Let’s Talk About It.

Do you suck?

Or are you comparing yourself to an expert?

Are you bad?

Or are you a beginner?

Is it hopeless?

Or are you blocked?

Let’s talk about it.

They say that comparison is the death of art and while healthy competition can be motivating, it can all too easily slip into debilitating territory. I’ve said before that artists are seekers. We naturally look to the future with drive, curiosity, and an appetite for creation and innovation. And who does this more than the beginner? 

Guess what? We are all beginners.

Within all of us lives a small child picking up a pen for the first time, singing that first scale, memorizing that first line, or attempting that first pirouette. Hesitantly, we look around the room for approval, see our caregivers smiling or in some cases, stern faces, and imprint into our nervous system that first attempt. From then on we constantly look to others for approval. Look to others to set an example. We listen to the radio, watch Oscar winners, attend the ballet, and read novel after novel trying the capture a fraction of what those deemed spectacular seem to have. We idolize them, we envy them, and we put in the work to become-

Just. Like. Them.  

We forget ourselves.

Whatever impulse existed before the first attempt was eclipsed by the approval. By the attention we crave, and the idols we chase.

We tell ourselves that we suck because we cannot yet do what the idol does. Having decided that we’re bad and entirely hopeless, we give up before we allow ourselves to begin. The cycle continues. Inspiration, emulation, doubt, abandonment. Finding ourselves eternally blocked we become frustrated and resentful of our craft. The art has died. Only when we allow our bodies to reignite the spark, or impulse that took place so long ago can we revive it. 

You do not suck.

You are not bad.

You are not hopeless.

You are eternally a beginner. So, may you be kind to yourself as you would a beginner. May you be gentle, and encouraging. May you dream big. May you try things and fail. Now that you are an adult, you can rewrite the creative story you were taught. And now? You don’t need to look to anybody else for approval.